First of all, keep in mind that every engaged couple follows a different timeline. Some get engaged insanely early, leaving two whole years for various pre-wedding events to take place (showers, parties, etc.), while others prefer a more efficient approach, with a short 6-month engagement in which you will fulfill most of your bridesmaid duties. The schedule below is based on a one-year engagement. Adjust the timeline as necessary! (though if your friend has announced that she's getting married in a month and wants a shower and bachelorette party, you can tell her to forget it!)
Oh, and remember that it's really the Maid-of-Honor's responsiblity to make sure that all of these things get done. So check with her if things seem to have stalled:
1 year before. The Call. Your friend, the bride, calls you and asks you...you know what. Shortly afterwards, you may also find out about an engagement party. This is usually planned by the couples' families, but as a bridesmaid, it is your duty to attend (and, yes, bring a gift, unless you have sent one already).
9-12 months before. The bride selects bridesmaid dresses. Don't delay in ordering your dress and going in for a fitting! Bridal stores can be notoriously slow. Take care of this as soon as the bride chooses the dress. Buy your accessories, too, to get that out of the way.
4-6 months before. By now the bride should have registered at her favorite stores. Help spread the word where she is registerd. Also, you may now receive "save the date" and travel and hotel information for the Big Day. Make these arrangements early (especially so you can take advantage of group discounts at the hotel).
2 months-1 month before. The bridal shower is often held within two months of the wedding. It should not be held too close to the wedding (nor should the bachelorette party) because that just creates more stress. Try to have both the shower and bachelorette party out of the way several weeks before the wedding. To make things even easier for out-of-town bridesmaids, see if you can have the shower and the bachelorette party take place on the same weekend.
1 month before. Bachelorette party and shower (if they haven't already happened). Remember, girls, no bachelorette parties the night before the wedding! That makes for a funny T.V. show, but a crummy real-life wedding. Also, during the month before the wedding, ask the bride (and/or maid-of-honor) if there's anything else you can help with. Now's when they should tell you about any last-minute responsibilities you may have.
The week before the wedding. If there is a rehearsal dinner, or any other events taking place the weekend of the wedding before the ceremony itself, you will be required to attend. Relax, you're almost there!
For information about your responsibilities are on the Big Day, click here!
